Cry
by phoenixnz
Summary: Songfic - the Clois as seen from a returning Lana. Clark had never told her goodbye. Oneshot


It was hard to say what hurt the most. Not hearing the truth from him or seeing the two of them together. But Lana Lang knew what she'd known in her heart all along when she finally saw Clark and Lois. Together. As a couple.

After everything she and Clark had been through in the past ten years, all the trials, the troubles, the battles with meteor freaks, the fights over his secrets, the marriage that should never have happened, then her thirst for vengeance on her betrayer, Lana had thought that maybe, this time, they might have a chance.

But he had moved on. With Lois Lane.

She'd called it. She had. Their senior year at Smallville High.

"I thought it would take us both longer to get over it," she'd said in the caves, all those years ago.

"What?" he'd said, not quite comprehending her words.

"You and Lois."

But Clark had shaken his head vehemently. "Lois? She's bossy. She's rude, she's stuck up – I can't stand her."

"The best ones always start that way," Lana had smiled. It hadn't mattered then. She had thought she was in love with Jason. But the truth was, she had used him as a crutch – a way to help her forget the handsome farmboy, who was just too beautiful to be human. She hadn't known then how right she was.

It had always been their dream. Or maybe her dream, she thought. The white picket fence, the children – all the symbols of what constituted a 'normal' love. But Clark wasn't normal. She'd always known that.

All those years, before she discovered the truth about him, she'd thought he'd been affected by the meteor shower. Even when she did learn the truth, she had dismissed it. The idea that Clark had been born on another planet had just been too unbelievable. But then she remembered her thoughts about who and what he was. Clark was unreal in his unfathomable need to continue saving those he felt needed saving. Always running off to rescue some poor soul. No other human she knew of would do that without expecting some kind of reward.

But now that Lana had gotten a taste of what it was like to live Clark Kent's life, she understood. At least, she thought she did. She once read somewhere along the way a quote: with great power comes great responsibility. She knew once she had that power that she had a responsibility to use it wisely. Or else chaos would ensue.

She'd hoped that having that power would bring her and Clark closer together. And for one brief moment, one flicker of a flame, it did. Until Lex, her ex-husband and Clark's ex-best friend, had chosen to use Clark's one weakness against him. Make that two. Because at that time, Lana was also his weakness. And in order to save the world, Lana had had to make a devastating choice. Absorb a massive dose of radiation from Kryptonite, or let the world explode.

It had forced them apart. But Lana had never given up hope of finding a cure for that radiation exposure. And she'd found it. Or rather him. A scientist who had been experimenting with mineral poisoning. He'd found a way to eliminate the Kryptonite.

Two years after being exposed to the deadly mineral, Lana had returned to Metropolis, only to find the man she still loved in the arms of another woman. She'd walked in to the offices of the Daily Planet late one night to find them kissing. Or rather, making out would be a better term.

"Clark?"

Clark stopped what he was doing and looked around, his eyes widening in shock.

"Lana!"

He looked almost guilty, then he glanced at Lois, who nodded. "I'll see you later Smallville," she said, drawing away from him. He refused to let go of her hand until she gently pulled it out of his grip. "You know where I'll be."

Lana shook her head, blinking back tears and fighting the lump in her throat.

"You know, I knew! When you stopped emailing, I knew."

"Lana, I ..."

"You moved on."

Lana felt pain like fire in her belly and she couldn't stop the tears falling, even if she wanted to.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you find out like this."

"You don't know, Clark. Two years I've been fighting for a way for us to be together, and all along I knew it was hopeless. You can't say sorry and think it will ease the pain I'm feeling right now."

"I love Lois. I'm in love with her." Lana nodded. "I just didn't know how to tell you. I never wanted to hurt you."

Rain beat against the windows, making tapping sounds on the glass. It matched the rain in her heart.

"You didn't know how to say goodbye?" she said. "All these years, you've never really known how to, have you? I knew it two years ago. I think I've always known that we were never meant to be." She looked steadily at him, even though her eyes were filled with tears. "Does she know? The truth about you?"

"Yes. I told her everything."

Lana nodded again. "You told her, but you could never tell me. I had to find out on my own. Why?"

"I don't know," he said softly. It was the same excuse. And he was lying. He did know. He'd lied to her for years, but she'd always known he was lying. Even when she knew the truth about him, he'd continued to lie to her about different things. But maybe this time he wanted to spare her feelings.

"I know you were just doing it to protect me, Clark, but did I never have any say in this? Don't you think it would have been better if I had known the truth? I would have understood."

"Would you? Lana, you changed. You became someone I didn't even recognise. You even stole power, just so you could be like me. Lois will never do that. She doesn't want to change and I don't want her to either. She's perfect just the way she is. And she's tough."

"Tougher than me?"

"Yes."

Finally, some honesty. Lana nodded once more. "I wish things could have been different between us," she said. "But I guess they can't." The tears were falling once again.

She turned away from him before he could see the tears, but she knew he'd know anyway. She wished him and Lois a happy life together and began to walk away. As she reached the stairwell, he whispered the word she'd never wanted to hear.

"Goodbye!"

As she walked down the street, away from him, she heard a song playing somewhere on a radio.

_**You make me wanna cry**_


End file.
